The old Bundesliga acronym for dealing with the Premier League — SEM (Stupid English Money) —may have been replaced by SCM (Stupid Chelsea Money) yet the ownership are unperturbed, notwithstanding that they recognise this short-term crisis and wish things had turned out differently. The strategy of buying young talent in the hope of future dividends is undimmed. Chelsea believe that market is undervalued and they don’t need all their young starlets to become superstars to reap a reward.
Whether they need 60 or 80 per cent to come good is a moot point. Government sources believe fanatics at Extinction Rebellion – a much larger group notorious for closing major roads – have also drawn up ‘sophisticated’ plans to disrupt the Coronation weekend on May 6, 7 and 8. Afterwards, sitting together on the hay bales Will says: ‘It’s like a massive reminder of home because my mum and dad would talk about barn dances and I’ve never been to one, so experiencing it with you is such a magical moment.’ Once gathered around the fire pit the Islanders receive another text which says: ‘Islanders, as you know on your final dates you had to decide which couple you think is the least compatible.
The couples voted least compatible are ….’ Yet they believe the rest of the takeover revolution is going to plan. Despite Chelsea losing £121m last season — and £600m spent since — Boehly and Eghbali insist the club will comply with UEFA’s and PL financial fair play rules. Dai Davies, a former head of Royal protection for Scotland Yard, last night urged the Met to target the ringleaders of the plots before the Coronation. ‘We’ve got to look at legislation to see if there are any preventative strategies that we could do to take some of the leaders out, if there is evidence,’ he said.
Boehly and Eghbali came into their new sporting franchise convinced that it was better to get a coach on the way up than a more experienced hand who had been spat out by rivals. Now they acknowledge it may be better to take a coach who has been there and done that, even if it means the shortlist might not look any different to Tottenham’s. The decision is up to the Texas Education Agency, which said in a statement that it was still determining next steps that “best support the students, teachers, parents, and school community.” A spokesperson for Abbott, who appoints the state’s education commissioner, did not return a message seeking comment.
The leadership at Chelsea are not so insulated from reality in their respective Santa Monica and Connecticut billionaire lairs that they are unaware of the perception of them in the European game, that of big-talking Americans strolling into town and flashing the cash. The story of how Chelsea came to invest so much in Potter and then ended up selling right at the bottom of the market perhaps stems from trusting the advice of others rather than having their own team in place.
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